Acting Consciously

Audio Version

Several years ago, I learned an important lesson about change management. Change can be threatening to many people and it evokes strong feelings often including anger. The important lesson I learned was that anger can actually be a grief response. Change, even welcomed change, often means we have to give up something which can result in grief. Understanding the anger as an expression of grief gave me the opportunity to change the way I responded to colleagues who were angry about whatever change we were facing at the moment.

Another lesson about change is that even the person who says, ‘I don’t like routine, I’m all about change’ has something they don’t want anyone to mess with. Most of us prefer to initiate the change rather than have change imposed on us. And we are currently in the middle of one of the most sudden, widespread impositions of change any of us have experienced. A practice of self-awareness can help us more accurately understand our responses and the responses of others to this situation. When we are more accurate in identifying responses, we are more likely to be able to take care of ourselves and support others in the way they most need to be supported.

More than that, self-aware people “tend to act consciously (rather than react passively) and tend to be in good psychological health and to have a positive outlook on life. They also have a great depth of life experience and are likely to be more compassionate.” https://positivepsychology.com/self-awareness-matters-how-you-can-be-more-self-aware/  Over the coming weeks and months, the more we can choose our responses to the situation around us, the better our mental and emotional health will be. Understanding the anger caused by the external circumstances, understanding the fear that comes from huge shifts in what we are facing will help us find ways to respond with compassion for others and for ourselves.

On the mat

In a yoga practice, we learn to balance opposing forces through the postures we practice. We follow backbends – energy, with forward bends – calming. We balance contractions – folding into ourselves, with extensions – reaching out. Understanding our need for interaction and time alone, being able to listen to anger, fear, and pain with compassion and also to step away to take care of oneself is the same practice. If you find yourself in a constant state of energy – either your own or from people around you, can you find ways to bring calm into your life and your work? If you find yourself wanting to sleep or struggling to find the drive you need to do your work, can you find a way to bring some energy into your world? If you are exhausted, perhaps it’s not sleep you need, but quiet or a walk? Self-awareness and understanding can help you find what you need.

Self-awareness and breathing will help us develop the resiliency to meet the leadership challenge of bearing the pain of others. When strong emotions come at us, the skills learned ‘on the mat’ will help us pause before emotions cause our actions. Paradoxically, self-awareness can help us feel connected to others which makes it possible to feel more connected, more compassionate toward ourselves and others. Like the Covey quote at the bottom reminds us, we can have the “power to choose, to respond, to change.” A self-awareness practice helps us make choices and pick options that are in line with our values and ideals and, at the same time, most effectively meet the needs of the people around us.

Take care.

Meditation