The Art of Leaving – Part 2

Last week I shared some thoughts on the topic of knowing when to leave a position. Today, I’m going to share thoughts about an equally difficult aspect of leaving, how to leave. Depending on the specific circumstances, leaving with grace can be surprisingly challenging. Even in the best circumstances, excitement about the new opportunity shared too exuberantly can leave colleagues at your current organization feeling a bit envious or even hurt. If things aren’t great at your current organization, it can be even more difficult to leave graciously.

In my dancing work, I learned a lesson that’s relevant here. The lesson is to keep your nose over your toes which is a message about keeping yourself balanced as you move across the dance floor. In the context of leaving one position for another, the advice I’ve heard is to keep your head where your feet are. Actually, that advice is also relevant when you are thinking about leaving. Another version is “don’t quit before you leave.” In other words, it’s important to keep doing your current job even when you’re thinking about moving and certainly as you prepare to move to the new position

The dance lesson is also about developing a strong posture to support yourself as you are dancing. In the work world, the word posture also applies. Though, in this case, it’s about the third definition in Merriam-Webster Online, “a conscious mental or outward behavioral attitude”. How will you choose to ‘stand’ as you are preparing to leave? Thinking about leaving gracefully for most of us starts with giving notice.

For some lucky people, who have supportive supervisors, it can start when you are applying for jobs. Giving your supervisor an early warning can help them have plans in mind to make changes smoothly. From there, when you know you are leaving, there are a number of topics of conversation to have with your supervisor. For example, a conversation about which projects need completed before you leave and which need handed off to someone else and who that someone might be. Or, what do you do that no one else really knows about? Making sure your supervisor knows about those tasks, and who might be a good person for you to teach over the coming weeks, will be appreciated once you leave. If you have a good relationship with your supervisor, it opens the door to a wide variety of possible ways for you to create a smooth and positive work transition.

Obviously, if you don’t have a supervisor like that, it’s a much more difficult situation. If, for whatever reason, you can’t have productive conversations with a supervisor, then do the work on your own. Think through the list of things you need to do to leave your “desk” in as good a shape as possible and your work as complete as can be reasonably done. If there are people waiting on your work, make sure to reach out to them once the information is public to give them guidance on who they should work with once you’re gone. Even if things are difficult where you work, you can chose to leave with grace and professionalism. It helps your colleagues who will be staying and that’s worth doing. Leaving with an “I’ll show them” attitude hurts more people that the one you are aiming to hurt and validates their poor treatment of you, at least in their own minds.

The other question I hear on occasion is how much notice to I need to give. Of course, that like so much about leaving may depend on your situation. Presidents who are retiring often give six months or a year’s notice, but for the rest of us that’s not necessary. Some people want to finish out an academic year. For other positions, usually less senior, two weeks really is fine. My standard has been a month’s notice. I have found this time frame hits a sweet spot. It’s enough time to do the work to prepare people, to clear your desk and ready projects for hand off, etc. What my experience has taught me is that the minute you announce you are leaving, you and your opinion are old news. After all, you won’t be around to implement anything or live with a decision. That means a longer time frame becomes complicated when the organization is ready to move on and you’re still hanging around.

I’m a fan of all things Olympic so don’t be surprised when I repeat something I heard from one of the gymnastics commentators yesterday. The last thing the judges see is your dismount so it’s critical to stick the landing. It’s true for leaving a job too. Failing to think through your departure, leaving in a way that creates problems for the people who are left behind, means the last interaction they have with you in that context is not of professional you, it’s of messy you. It’s a miss on the dismount. It’s a miss on handing off the baton (to change sports)., Even if you haven’t been happy in your work, it’s worth trying to leave in good standing.

Your reputation for leaving will follow you as much as your reputation for your work. It’s as important to think about your ending as your beginning. What have you learned about leaving either as the job changer or as the colleague who stays?  I’d be curious to know your thoughts on the art of leaving the job.

Take care,

Gage