How many personality tests have you taken over the course of your life or career?

The first one I ever took was while I was in college. I have no idea what the name of the test was. I do know I had to ask four or five friends to fill out a 30 question (or so) scantron about me. Then I joined a group of people who worked in my mom’s company while she presented the workshop. (If you didn’t already know, clearly this apple didn’t fall far from that tree.) The only thing I remember about that test was that it confirmed what my mom had always said about me, “You’re an analytical” I always understood that as being about math or numbers so I was sure she was wrong, plus it sounded boring. (No offense intended, fellow analytical types.)

In law school, while I was a part-time Hall Director we did the FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior) that measures how your interpersonal needs effect your behavior in groups and workplace. (That’s from Google AI). I remember only one thing about it as well. In this case, it’s the idea that we each have ‘buckets’ and some of them are smaller and some are larger. And I only remember one bucket – the need to be greeted at work. I suppose it’s really about affiliation or feeling included. What I learned was that some of us need to be greeted each time we meet in the hallway (that’s a big bucket and takes more to fill) while others of us are happy to have one such exchange all day long (this is a small bucket, easily filled). It’s actually a useful little item to pay attention to, though I’m sure there was much more to the workshop than this.

And then there are the other tests I’ve done over the years, the full alphabet soup. MBTI, DISC, TDF, True Colors. MBTI (Myers-Briggs) is the first one that was actually helpful and that we referred to regularly. It was August 1986, and I had accepted a job offer with the Dean of Students Office at UT Austin (ODOS). The Dean sent me the MBTI form and I joined the entire team for a full day workshop before my actual start date. It still ranks as one of the best such workshops I’ve ever attended. In part because we spent an entire day together, but more because our facilitator used the time so well.

Of course, he had our results so each time he mixed us up, it was by type. We’d gather in our small groups, answer each question he gave us as a group and then share our results with the entire crew. Our results were his examples and lessons. Not only do I still remember the questions he asked, my answers, and the lessons learned, I remember several of the answers my soon-to-be-colleagues gave.

First activity – plan a party. This one was really clear. All the people on the Introvert side planned quiet, smallish, family parties. The Extroverts? They had big bashes, with limousines and bands and disco balls and anyone who wanted to come. The last activity was to plan a trip. The J’s (judging) planned everything down to the last moment while the P’s (perceiving) got in the car, maybe picked a destination and a day to get home and off they went.

The most memorable activity was the question asking us if we would lend money to a friend. As a general rule, the Thinkers (Ts) would decline to do so and the Feelers (Fs) were glad to lend money to a friend. But the most important lesson of that moment was when one of my new colleagues, (who was going to report to me in about three weeks and who was clearly in the F category), stood up to yell across the room at another colleague, “What do you mean you won’t loan me money?” That colleague, who I would soon learn was a long-time friend, wasn’t fazed by this, he simply replied, “I’ll give you money, but I won’t lend it.” And that was the end of that.

While it is one of my favorite stories, it is also a great example of self-awareness or self-understanding. Even before doing the MBTI, my new colleague knew this clearly about himself. He understood how fraught lending money to a friend can be. He understood his own boundaries and declared them. That day, thanks to his friend, everyone in that room knew where he stood on that particular question.

By the end of that day we all also knew something more about ourselves and about each other. Over the years I worked there, we did True Colors which we used as a shorthand even more than we did the MBTI. We also did a less common one called Think Decide Feel (TDF) which helps you understand how you process information. It was also a very helpful tool.

These tools helped me know who was most like me on that team and who was least like me. And the reality was that in both cases, we worked together extraordinarily well. We knew our strengths as well as each others and the differences ultimately added to a positive work experience.

I know that many people think these tests are “soft science.” I know that many people don’t like sitting through them, but I also know they are an easy way to learn about oneself and one’s co-workers. And even that little bit of self-knowledge can make a difference in your work, in making decisions about your physical and mental health, in developing empathy, and in understanding others. Of course there are other ways to develop self-knowledge, but when you have a chance to take one of these or other ones like it, I encourage you to do so. If you’ve taken them a a million times, try one more, you never know what facilitator will come up with a novel way to help you understand something new about yourself or your fellow participants.

Find some time to read something new, participate in a staff development day, or have a conversation with someone who can hold up a mirror and help you see something different about yourself. Being self-aware, like so many things is a practice and it takes time, effort and some intention to improve. Good luck!

Take care,

Gage

Quote of the Week

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. ”

Daniel Goleman
“Daniel Goleman (born March 7, 1946) is an American psychologist, author, and science journalist. For twelve years, he wrote for The New York Times, reporting on the brain and behavioral sciences. His 1995 book Emotional Intelligence was on The New York TimesBest Seller list for a year and a half, a bestseller in many countries, and is in print worldwide in 40 languages. Apart from his books on emotional intelligence, Goleman has written books on topics including self-deception, creativity, transparency, meditation, social and emotional learning, ecoliteracy and the ecological crisis, and the Dalai Lama’s vision for the future.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Goleman